the first time I wore pink
two foolish boys
slid over the falls
over their heads and
me more annoyed than heroic
pulling them to the side bank
my denim cut offs and tee shirt soaked,
thrift store shopping for dry clothes
cashier rings up tags for baggy underwear,
boy-plaid shorts
and the best thing warm in my size
cute pink cardigan:tiny white buttons
pink?
first time I wore pink since
the scratch of church-girl tights and stiff
Mary Janes turned me off to anything
girly and the boys in the basement told me
I'd have to take off panties
someday to push out a baby
and why not start taking them off
today
leading to thirty years believing
girl means submission
girl means eye-fluttering ignorance
tall tower heroes and railroad rescue
girl means constriction, tight elastic
discomfort
towel dried you tell me
You look pretty
in pink. Like Molly?
Yeah like Molly.
what took so long to
find the power
that lies in pink
hidden and soft
pulling mystery of men
into the folds of not what they are
but what they lack
like these breasts that still ache
in a burning thread from nipple down to center
humming with false cry letdown
pulling with heaviness longing to be relieved,
emptied, pink nipples pleading
need me
© 2010 Jenifer Van Buren
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